


A Man in Uniform

by TheFirstMrsHummel



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Baseball, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, M/M, Roleplay, Uniform Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 18:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18058076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFirstMrsHummel/pseuds/TheFirstMrsHummel
Summary: Set after “The M.V.P.” (S5, Ep. 9). Patrick really, really likes David in his baseball uniform.





	A Man in Uniform

“Home sweet home!” announced Patrick, swinging open the door to his apartment. He entered with an entirely deserved swagger, grinning from ear to ear.

“Ugh,” said David, following behind him. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm, I can’t wait to get in the shower. I ran, Patrick. It made me sweat.”

The dirt from sliding into home was embedded in his skin as well, resisting his attempts to get clean with wet wipes at the ball field. A nice hot shower with the lavender foaming gel they’d just gotten in at the store was exactly what he needed.

“Oh, I’m aware.” He approached David slowly, reaching past him to shut the door. His other hand raised to toy with the spot where David’s jersey was tucked into his close-fitting pants. “Maybe you can shower a little bit later.”

“I’m gross and disgusting.”

“What if I think you’re neither?”

“Are you saying that showers aren’t a normal thing after one plays baseball? Isn’t that what the locker rooms are for?”

Patrick’s gaze grew heated. “I like you in this uniform, David.” He moved in closer, slipping his fingertips into David’s waistband.

David inhaled sharply, surprised and getting a little turned on. “This look does something for you?” Patrick had said he thought David was cute in the uniform, but this behavior went a few steps above cute.

“Yeah,” said Patrick, his voice rough. “It does a lot of things for me.” He tilted his head up and captured David’s lips in a long, slow kiss. He eventually pulled away, giving David’s bottom lip a quick nip before releasing his mouth entirely.

“I can see that.” David’s voice was embarrassingly breathless for a single kiss, but Patrick’s intensity was doing a few things for him as well.

“When I was on the baseball team in high school…” Patrick trailed off, then looked down briefly and swallowed before continuing. “It…did something for me back then too. I never let myself even consider the possibility that I wasn’t straight, so I didn’t realize at the time it was sexual. But there were a couple of guys on my team that, when I saw them in their uniforms, I would get this really weird feeling. Like I was paying way too much attention to how things like their shoulders and thighs looked, it was just so strange. I think because I’d never felt like that about a girl, I didn’t recognize it for what it was.”

It always caused a twist in David’s heart whenever Patrick talked about how deeply he’d been closeted back home. It hadn’t been out of fear or self-hatred, but simple ignorance that there was a way to feel and live and be that wasn’t one hundred percent what everyone expected of him. Patrick’s default setting had wavered between Don’t Rock The Boat and Just Make Everyone Happy for so long, he couldn’t even see something as glaringly obvious as his own strong attraction to men. 

“So seeing you like this,” Patrick said, his eyes dark as he dragged the pads of his fingers down David’s chest. “The guy I already have a lot of sexy feelings about? It’s hot. I always think you’re hot, always think you’re sexy and gorgeous. But you in a baseball uniform is a teenage fantasy I never even knew I had, coming to life right in front of me.”

David felt a flush of desire that nearly weakened his knees. It was vain, but he adored it when Patrick complimented him or talked about how attracted he was to David. It was a shallow remnant left over from his former feckless life, but one that Patrick actually enjoyed indulging, so he felt okay about keeping it in the mix. David had had a lot of people compliment him over the years – some sincerely, some not – but never had anyone described him as a fantasy come true. It was one hell of an aphrodisiac. 

David pulled Patrick to him and kissed him thoroughly, slipping his tongue into Patrick’s mouth and encouraging his boyfriend to do the same. It was then that an idea occurred to him, and even though it was a risk, David suspected the results would be worth it. 

He abruptly ended the kiss, pushing Patrick away from him a little. Patrick looked at him, a confused expression on his face. Knowing that Patrick would automatically ask what was wrong, David spoke quickly. 

“I can’t believe I did that!” David laid it on thick, widening his eyes and letting a worried tone into his voice.”

“Wha-“ Patrick started to say, but David cut him off.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have. Do you think anyone saw us?” David looked frantically around Patrick’s empty living room.”

“David, what in the hell are you talking about?” Patrick looked at David like he’d gone completely insane. “Did you hit your head when you slid into home? Should we go to Urgent Care?”

David ignored him. “I just couldn’t help myself. I think about kissing you all the time, like in history class or when we’re running laps. And sometimes when you look at me, I get the feeling you’re thinking about kissing me too. Since we’re the only ones left in the locker room, I just had to take my chance.” He watched as the realization washed over Patrick’s face, going from confusion to awe, then settling into a smile he fought to hide.

“I’m glad you did,” said Patrick. “I wanted you to. I’ve wanted to kiss you since Freshman year.”

Oh God, Patrick was into it. David broke character momentarily with a huge grin, but quickly got himself under control. He stepped forward and kissed Patrick again, keeping his tongue out of it for the time being in the spirit of a realistic performance. David eventually pulled back, gently this time.

“I’ve never kissed a boy before.” 

He tried to put as much innocence into his voice that a thirty-five-year-old man with more sexual partners than he could remember could muster. He must have done a pretty good job of it though, if the sudden dilation of Patrick’s pupils was anything to go by. Since his first attempt at roleplay with Patrick was going so well, David doubled down quickly. He kissed Patrick softly, then brought his mouth to his ear. “I’ve never done anything with a boy before. Just, you know, to myself.”

Patrick made a desperate noise and his hips jerked, informing David of the fact that the act was working exactly as intended. He was already hard, just like the horny teenagers they were portraying. David was more than halfway there himself and went fully erect when Patrick spoke roughly.

“What do you mean, to yourself?”

David left Patrick’s ear to look him in the face, and holy shit had he somehow forgotten what an excellent actor his boyfriend was. His eyes were wide and innocent, voice unsure and almost timid. David hoped there were enough of his mother’s acting genes in his DNA to keep up with Patrick, because this scene was scorchingly hot.

“I touch myself, sometimes. You know, down there.” He nodded in the direction of where their lower bodies were pressed together. “Do you ever?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes I touch myself, and I get, y’know, hard when I do.” Patrick was blushing, eyelashes sweeping over his cheeks. His performance in Cabaret was going to be worthy of a Tony if his roleplay skills were any indication. “Sometimes I think about you when I touch myself.”

David’s heart and cock surged in equal measure. There was so much intimate history in Patrick’s whispered words, knowing that Patrick used to jerk off thinking about him as much as David did Patrick. The line between fantasy and reality was starting to blur a bit as they reached more previously charted territory. “I think about you when I do it too,” he whispered back.

“Can I touch you there?” asked Patrick. “Please, David, I think I might die if I don’t.”

David understood that feeling all too well, considering what was going on in his own pants. “Yes. Just, can I touch you too?” 

It wasn’t the first time he’d said those words to Patrick, and they brought an aching rush of nostalgia for the early days of their relationship. He loved where he and Patrick currently stood, much of their free time together spent cooking, cuddling on the couch and having the best sex of David’s life in Patrick’s bed. He looked forward to what he was certain the future would bring; moving in together into a bigger place, getting married eventually, and settling into a marriage as long and stable as Moira and Johnny’s. 

But there was nothing like the memory of falling in love for the first time, figuring out that he and Patrick were crazy about each other, and helping Patrick navigate his first sexual experiences with a man. It would always and forever be one of the best times of his entire life.

“Yeah, David,” said Patrick softly. “You can touch me.”

At that point, things progressed further than a couple of teenagers who had kissed for the first time in a high school locker room. They undid their belts and flies, pulling pants and underwear down at the same time. Then finally, magically they had a hold of each other’s cocks, stroking hard and fast while kissing messily.

“I love you,” Patrick gasped. “I love you so much, David.”

“Me too,” said David, starting to sink to his knees. The words didn’t come to him as effortlessly as they did for Patrick; he didn’t have as much experience with them, and his love language leaned more towards physical touch than words anyway.

“No.” Patrick stopped David’s downward movement with a firm hold on his shoulders. “I want to do it. I want to suck your cock.”

David was hardly going to complain about that. Patrick pushed him back towards the kitchen until his back hit the counter, then hit the floor with his knees in record time. He started with soft, kitten-like licks all over the shaft, flicking his tongue against the frenulum on the underside occasionally. Although David hated the ugly Formica counters in Patrick’s kitchen, right now they were his best friend, allowing him to brace himself so he didn’t slither to the floor in a heap. “Fuck, Patrick, you’re so good at that.”

Patrick pulled away from David’s dick, smiling brightly. “Practice makes perfect.”

With that, he went all in, taking David into his mouth as far as he could manage and making up the difference with his fist. He was admittedly jealous of David’s ability to deep throat without difficulty, but David assured him that he gave amazing blowjobs, especially for someone who’d be doing it for less than two years. He was a fucking rock star at oral sex as far as David was concerned.

It didn’t take long for David to start skirting the edge of orgasm. He watched as Patrick sucked his dick while jerking his own cock, a feat of coordination that had taken a while for him to master. Patrick was right though, practice was the key, and they sure did love practicing. 

David took one shaky hand off the counter and slid his fingers into Patrick’s hair; it was their agreed upon unspoken signal that one of them was about to come, learned from days when Patrick lived at Ray’s and they had to keep things as quiet as possible. Patrick increased the suction of his mouth and sped up the motion of the had he was jerking off with, both of which pushed David over, coming until he could barely hold himself up with one arm any longer.

Patrick, for his part, moaned around David’s softening dick as he came on the linoleum floor. When he finished heaving and shuddering David urged him up so they could kiss. David loved the taste of his own come in Patrick’s mouth, licking the corners to capture anything left behind after Patrick swallowed.

Together they got their uniforms back in order and cleaned up the floor, before retreating to the hot shower that David had been so looking forward to a half-hour before. They washed and caressed each other in a lazy, non-sexual but wholly satisfying way. David didn’t feel like taking the time to blow dry and shape his hair, so he’d need another shower in the morning after going to bed with it wet, but it would be worth it not to wait any longer to crawl naked and clean into Patrick’s bed.

“Thank you, David,” said Patrick, in the same soft, sweet voice he’d used to thank David for kissing him for the first time so long ago.

“For what?” asked David, unconsciously repeating the same response.

“For everything. For supporting my baseball hobby since day one. For subbing in even though you didn’t want to, and putting up with everyone’s shit about it, including my own. For winning the championship game for my team.” He cupped David’s cheek, and the adoring look on his face was something that David knew he would give anything to keep seeing for the rest of his life. 

“But most of all? For giving me something tonight I thought I’d missed out on forever. I knew that seventeen-year- old me probably needed a clandestine kiss in the locker room to happen. I just didn’t know that thirty-one-year-old me needed it almost as much. So thank you, David, for making that happen.”

David thought about deflecting with humor, as was his usual style. But he was bone tired, blissfully happy and completely sexed out, so it didn’t seem worth the effort of putting up even the semblance of a barrier. He gathered Patrick into his arms, kissing the top of his head.

“You’re welcome, Patrick. I love you.”


End file.
